Live-in relationships can be tricky. The thought of being with the one you love, the whole time, can be mesmerizing, but people soon realize that it is the main test they put their relationship through.
On dates, both the parties are at their best behavior, the guy holding the door for his lady or pulling a seat for her to sit, or the girl dressing up to complement her man or talking all too sweetly.
But it all takes a 360 turn when seeing each other all the time becomes inevitable, and wet towels, responsibilities, “you-don’t-understand-me”, “you-don’t-help-at-all” and loads more of yapping replaces the love talks.
I am not trying to scare you, but let me list down a few changes both guys and girls have to make when they do decide to move in together.
1. Outdoor Dates
Guys, just because you see her everyday doesn’t mean you don’t take her out on dates. Living together brings too much familiarity, which can make your relationship monotonous. Surprise her with planned evenings at a good restaurant which plays her favourite music every now and then.
PS- stay-at-home-dates don’t always count. They only count when you cook for her and don’t order in.
2. Don’t Nag
Girls, stop nagging. He might be lazy or probably lives like a cave-man but do not forget why you chose him to be the ONE in the first place.
Give him time to adjust to living with a woman. You just can’t expect him to be flawless if you want him to accept all your flaws.
3. Don’t invite your friends over too often
Boys, now i know you must really enjoy having friends over, drinking a beer or two and watching a game, but to invite them over almost every alternate day? That’s not going to do.
That needs to stop. It’s not about barring your freedom, it’s about liberating her a bit. For her to be able to do the stuff she likes, freely, in her new abode.
She understands you need a bit of guy company every now and then, but I think Saturdays are enough for that. Little understandings is what makes a relationship work. So, protect yourself and your budds from her wrath or-
4. Surprise him
Don’t expect him to do all the work girls. Your relationship has both you and him in it and both the parties need to work towards it. Plan things, small things, they usually leave a much bigger impact.
Send him lunch with a love note, bring home his favourite Chinese food and beer, plan trips and loads more. You can even pay for the dates. There is no rule book specifying that a guy needs to pay every time. Cut him some slack ladies!
5. LIMIT your expenditures
Have a monthly target set for yourself and don’t exceed it. Work towards it, together. Cut unnecessary expenditures and try saving money for future.
I know you are just giving ‘living together’ a try and future is a far off thought, but this will only amplify the feeling of love and care you have for each other. Most importantly, share the load proportionately, if not equally.
6. Try understanding him
Ladies, it’s not just the girls who need pampering. Bad day at work, fight with a friend or stress from other things can really mess up a guy.
There needs to be a persistent effort in trying to lift up your man’s spirit. Talk to him about the things that trouble him, cuddle, tell him you understand and genuinely try to understand too and let him know you’d be there no matter what happens.
7. Share things
Imagine, there’s only one piece of your favourite pie left in the fridge. In your absence, she gulps it all down. Now the pie you were anticipating to eat is no more there when you have a late night craving.
What do you do? Yell at her? Stop talking to her? or let it go with a smile but tell her to treat you to it the next day? Little things really do matter. You are not just sharing space, but you are also sharing life.
8. Respect each other’s space
Living together is like being under each other’s surveillance camera the entire time! Sometimes, it becomes really hard to spend time alone.
But one should understand that as it is important to connect with each other, similarly, it’s important to connect with yourself. Learn to give each other space when they need. Being mushy all the time is a direct turn-off if you ask me.
You need to understand that a relationship is all about understanding each other, loving them despite their flaws and growing together.
It might take time for things to finalize, for your relationship to reach its zenith, but at least make the ride worth everything.