Anger is one of the most basic emotions. Its one thing to hold an opinion and be verbal about it, and another to offend or hurt the other person with it, when delivered harshly. The latter is something which should be avoided but we are often incapable of doing so. Always remember, holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else, but along this process, you yourself get burnt. Its okay to be angry with someone because sometimes its a way of showing that you really care! But when anger knows no bounds, that’s when you should know that its high time you learn to control it! And here are a few ways of doing so:
1) GIVE YOURSELF A REALITY CHECK
Before loosing it and bursting out in flames, wait for a second and think just who is going to fall victim to your anger! They might be people of great significance like your parents, elders or a really good friend. He/she can also be a person who might prove to be a big help and beneficial to you in the future. Your inordinate anger would not only strain your ties with your important people but can also make you loose a great future-enhancing opportunity. It is rightly said that “THINK before you ACT” it’s very difficult to reason oneself out at such a time, but it’s vital to do so, to avoid any permanent damage.
2)A BREATHER : GET AWAY FROM THE IRRITANT!
If you are really angry and you realize that your anger might cause you to do some serious permanent damage, move away from the person/thing causing annoyance. If there is no immediate ‘serious’ outburst, go for a little less adverse measure, and that is diverting your mind. Indulge in an activity that helps you take your mind off the entire matter, gives you time to calm down and helps to put off your bad mood. Also, get away from people who tend to take advantage of you at such times by provoking you. They can have a piece of your mind later!
As astonishing as this advice may sound, it actually helps! Call your best friend or someone you really trust and talk it out. Share all your aggressiveness with that person till you are left with nothing else to say. Two really good things will come out of this. Firstly, you will feel lighter, now that you have shared it with someone, plus you would now know what to do! And secondly, such conversations with your friends often make you realize their importance in your life and will act as a fore-warning bell for you the next time you guys have a fight.
4)FIND YOUR ‘HAPPY SPOT’
Sometimes we tend to get teary-eyed when we are really angry and at such times all we need is a place to avoid public scrutiny and save ourselves from humiliation. Your happy spot can be your room, or a public park or can even be something as basic as your imagination. Calm down! Relax and think about a beautiful silent place, It can be a beach or a hilly area, and let yourself be lost in its scenic beauty.
5)CONFRONT YOURSELF, NOT THE PERSON
Confrontations with the person you are angry with, can get ugly! People don’t always accept that they were wrong about something and this only leads to building up of your own anger and in turn, mentally, traumatizing yourself. You know that you weren’t at fault and trust me, sometimes, it should be enough food for your ego. Do not go on looking for publicized revenge because it will personally degrade you too.
Meditation is training for the mind, for it to calm the noise in our mental space, to lower our thought count, to draw out inner wisdom, and mostly it helps us to recognize and remain anchored in our divine state.
Regardless of what is happening externally to us, we have the capacity to remain centered, in a state of acceptance, of flow, of peace, and of love. When we are in this state, we are rational and have the clarity we need to handle any situation with grace, and with minimal stress on our body.
7)LAUGH! : STOP BEING A PESSIMIST!
Find every reason possible to laugh out loud. Take your mind off of every possible thing that gets you down. You can list out a series of movies that make you laugh and stock them up at home. Or meet up with a humorous friend who can really get you laughing. Think about it, is the situation you are angry at really worth you pondering over it to the point that you start mentally hurting yourself? NO! Nothing is! And when you are clear on this, you will treat yourself better.